Random Useless Information, Results Pending On Post-Mortem

I was extremely lucky to make it back to California last night after an extended stay in the Syracuse airport thanks to the blizzard that wreaked havoc on air travel. I think it is just plain luck that accounts for me getting the last seat on a flight to San Francisco after missing my connection to San Jose.

I'm back, but none the wiser. I find that I know a lot of useless information:

• When I saw a logo with a woodchuck, I thought of what lesions from hepatitis and lymphoma look like on necropsy of a woodchuck. How's that? Cornell has a breeding colony of captive woodchucks that they use for research (apparently a good animal model of hepatitis?)

• When merle coat color in dogs came up, I knew that it arises from a SINE_Cf insertion.

• When a melanoma in a grey horse was mentioned I thought of the connection between grey coat color and the eventuality of developing melanomas and knew that both grey coat color and melanomas also result from a specific insertion (read more here).

• When my dad mentioned an epidemiological study on statins to me on, I immediately thought of how statins are contraindicated during pregnancy based on the discovery (by Cornell veterinarians) that Veratrum californicum is the cause of cyclopia in ewes that ingested it around the second week of gestation. The biological mechanism underlying the teratogenicity of Veratrum has to do with hedgehog and patched signaling and cholesterol hence the concern that statins would also be teratogenic.

• Perhaps most disturbing of all, while watching a TV documentary on Jack the Ripper (article here), I understood why the coroner estimated that it took at least fifteen minutes for Jack the Ripper to severely mutilate his victims' bodies. It's not that easy to cut up a dead body. It takes skill. Which is perhaps why profilers also suggest that Jack the Ripper knew some basic anatomy and perhaps worked in a mortuary. Kind of disturbing that I followed all the profilers' thought processes. If you've never cut up a large dead body (I'm thinking alpaca, horse or cow) then you don't know what hard work you're in for. You have to repeatedly sharpen your knife with that kind of sustained effort (which is another reason the profilers suspect Jack worked in a mortuary-- he'd have access to the kind of instruments needed to quickly and effectively disfigure a body).

And speaking of post-mortems... Back when I was a first year in college I got placed in a special advanced chemistry intro class that was mostly quantum mechanics. It was legendary for being incredibly difficult and for being next to impossible to get an A in (though I did achieve that much to my surprise). The first exam was so tough I still remember questions off of it-- like this one "Prove that orbitals are symmetrical." Uh-huh. I was convinced that I had flunked and I remember telling that to my professor as he prepared to leave the exam room with our stack of papers. He said coolly, "Wait and see what the post-mortem shows." Which, like most exams in my life, yielded a grade much better than my wildest expectations.

So now I always associate grading exams with the word "post-mortem." The problem with Cornell is the time it takes them to do a post-mortem is maddeningly long. I took a midterm at the beginning of December. I will not get it back until I return to school in January. Given that this waiting game makes me extremely anxious, I decided to institute some ground rules for myself to help manage this anxiety. Rule one: do not look up answers after leaving the exam. I can often recall almost every question on an exam just after finishing and would look up ones I was unsure of. This only heightened my anxiety when looking up something made me realize I got that question wrong, especially if I realized I had gotten several questions wrong. Rule two: do not, DO NOT, think about the exam. At all (if possible). Forcing myself to stop thinking about the exam when I find myself worrying about my grade also helps.

Winter Rebirth

alone in the library late at night
snug in my jacket, legs curled under me
a heavy book
(pathologic basis of disease)
half-balanced against the chair's armrest
there is the low background hum
of computers, printers, fluorescent lights
and outside snow falling under a street light

stepping into the parking lot
everything is coated anew
with fine powder

the white layer covering the ground
unblemished
like the smooth skin of a
newborn

there is no ice, no treachery
the fresh snow is crunchy underfoot
like styrofoam packing peanuts

and i think
what better reminder that every moment
i start anew, afresh

i'm starting over, tonight
is the first moment
of my new life
there is no trace of the old
scars and worn ruts of bad habits
i couldn't break

soon this new snow will be marred too
with footprints (already I see dog pawprints by the back door)
soot from car exhaust
and mud from the sludge of soaked soil underneath

but for now i am reborn
silent, in awe
like a puppy taking its first breath

8 Nights Of Hanukah, 12 Days Of Christmas And 13 Ways Of Looking At A Blackbird

It's the first night of Hanukah. I took my block 2 midterm this morning. In just over a week I fly back to California.

I want to celebrate with Wallace Stevens' poem "Thirteen Ways Of Looking At A Blackbird." I hadn't thought of this poem in awhile, but yesterday while composing my own (yes, I wrote "Frozen"), I remembered how much I had loved this poem and realized how well suited it is for December in Ithaca.

Thirteen Ways Of Looking At A Blackbird

I.
Among twenty snowy mountains,
The only thing moving
Was the eye of the blackbird

II.
I was of three minds,
Like a tree
In which there are three blackbirds.

III.
The blackbird whirled in the autumn winds
It was a small part of the pantomime.

IV.
A man and a woman
Are one.
A man and a woman and a blackbird
Are one.

V.
I do not know which to prefer,
The beauty of inflections,
Or the beauty of innuendos,
The blackbird whistling
Or just after.

VI.
Icicles filled the long window
With barbaric glass.
The shadow of the blackbird
Crossed it, to and fro.
The mood
Traced in the shadow
An indecipherable cause.

VII.
O thin men of Haddam,
Why do you imagine golden birds?
Do you not see how the blackbird
Walks around the feet
Of the women about you?

VIII.
I know noble accents
And lucid, inescapable rhythms;
But I know, too,
That the blackbird is involved
In what I know.

IX.
When the blackbird flew out of sight,
It marked the edge
Of one of many circles.

X.
At the sight of blackbirds
Flying in a green light,
Even the bawds of euphony
Would cry out sharply.

XI.
He rode over Connecticut
In a glass coach.
Once, a fear pierced him,
In that he mistook
The shadow of his equipage
For blackbirds.

XII.
The river is moving.
The blackbird must be flying.

XIII.
It was evening all afternoon
It was snowing
And it was going to snow.
The blackbird sat
In the cedar-limbs.

Frozen

frozen inside myself
all day long i have not spoken
one word
out
loud

i have not seen another
soul

birds, yes
(aren't they souls?)

house finch, chickadee
tufted titmouse chattering wildly
and the striking yet furtive white-breasted nuthatch

they keep me company

i feed them in this barren landscape
buried under snow

in return they unknowingly
keep me alive

i practice in my head
words i might say
hello?
how are you?
hi!

longing to connect
locked inside myself

I'm Going To Nevada With Rural Area Veterinary Services

On a day when it feels like my world is ending, it's grey, snowing, and I've spent almost the entire day sitting at home studying minutiae that isn't falling into place for me...

I get an email with a ray of sunshine. I got accepted to go on a RAVS trip to Nevada in March. I'll be working with a team of veterinarians, veterinary students and veterinary technicians to provide free veterinary care to pets on Native American reservations.

I can't believe I got picked.

I have one week to respond. I will think it over, but I think this is a go. Gets me out of Ithaca in the snowy spring and gets me going someplace I've never been before and working with people I've never met. Exciting.

Please G-d, just let enough of this cell-signaling, apoptosis and necrosis pathway stuff sink into my head for me to not be a total failure on my exam on Friday.

If I can only hang onto the feeling of hope for the future.

Getting this email makes me so happy I want to sing, so I put on one of my favorite songs to sing along to (only it makes me homesick for California and my friend LaMexicana who also loves Juanes and was surprised to hear me listening to him, white girl that I am)

A Dios Le Pido
I ask of G-d

Que mis ojos se despiertan con la luz de tu mirada yo
That my eyes wake up to the light of your gaze I
a Dios le pido
ask of G-d
Que mi madre no se muera y que mi padre me
That my mother doesn't die and that my father
recuerde a Dios le pido
remembers me I ask of G-d
Que tu quedes a mi lado y que mas nunca te me vayas
That you stay by my side and never again leave me
mi vida a Dios le pido
my life I ask of G-d
Que mi alma no descanse cuando de amarte se trate
That my soul never rests when it comes to loving you
mi cielo a Dios le pido
my sky I ask of G-d
Por los dias que me quedan y las noches que aun no
For those days that I have left and the nights yet to
llegan yo a Dios le pido
arrive I ask of G-d
Por los hijos de mis hijos y los hijos de tus hijos a
For the children of my children and the children of your children
Dios le pido
I ask of G-d
Que mi pueblo no derrame tante sangre y se levante
that my village doesn't shed so much blood and that will rise again
mi gente a Dios le pido
my people I ask of G-d
Que mi alma no descanse cuando de amarte se trate
that my soul never rests when it comes to loving you
mi cielo a Dios le pido
my sky I ask of G-d

Un segundo mas de vida para darte y a tu lado para
One more second of life to give to you and by your side
siempre yo quedarme
to stay forever
Un segundo mas de vida para darte y mi corazon
One second more of life to give to you my heart
entero entregarte
delivered whole
Un segundo mas de vida yo a Dios le pido
One second more of life I ask of G-d

Y que si me muero sea de amor
And if I die let if be because of love
y si me enamoro se de vos
and if I fall in love may it be with you
y que de tu voz se este corazon
and that of your voice this heart can be
todos los dias a Dios le pido
every day I ask of G-d

Out For A Walk In The Snow

It was sunny (SUNNY!) today and so I went out for a hike where I used to run before it snowed. I'm with Coral, my landlord's dog. (Over the years I have been blessed with sundry canine companions, none actually my own dogs so I never have any real canine responsibilities, just companionship for those long solo hikes and runs that I love to take. I look forward to the day eight or nine years down the road when I finish my schooling and will actually have a schedule that will allow me to be a good dog owner).

You might recognize the photo below from a photo earlier this year on my blog-- back then there were still leaves on the trees but it is the same trailhead. I took the shot of Coral because I didn't know if I would run into any other hikers to take a picture of me (but I did, as you can tell).

Collagen Related Diseases And Odd Facts About Guinea Pigs

I'm studying for my block II exam. It's not a disease course, but we are expected to know the diseases that arise from different molecular etiologies.

There are quite a few diseases having to do with collagen defects.

• Osteogenesis imperfecta aka Brittle Bone Disease or Lobstein syndrome results from a mutation in collagen type I that substitutes another amino acid for glycine (which is the simplest, smallest amino acid), and as a result the triplet of alpha helices which make up collagen cannot pack as tightly.
• Ehlers-Danlos syndrome can manifest in many different forms. The host of possible problems include abnormally flexible joints, loose joints, abnormally stretchy skin, fragile skin and blood vessels and poor wound healing.
• Dystrophic epidermolysis bullosa involves a mutation in collagen type VII, the anchoring type of collagen, which links the basement membrane of the epidermis to the fibrillar collagens in the dermis. There is a recessive and dominant form. The disease causes severe blistering and skin wounds heal extremely slowly.

As far as I can tell OI, EDS and DEB all affect both dogs and humans. I'm not sure about other species.
Note: Epidermolysis bullosa simplex is a disease of cattle (and humans) that involves a mutation in keratin 5. Keratin is an intermediate filament, not a collagen.

Scurvy is a disease that is caused by a deficiency of vitamin C. Humans get this disease because they cannot synthesize their own vitamin C. Vitamin C is a co-factor required for the hydroxylation of prolines and lysines on the alpha helices of collagen. Without hydroxylation, the alpha helices don't form the triplet superstructure of which collagen is composed and so you can't make collagen. This results in problems any place in the body that needs new collagen formation-- hence the resulting clinical signs of fragile skin and blood vessels, bleeding, loose teeth and impaired wound healing.

Guinea pigs and primates are the only animals that aren't able to synthesize their own vitamin C. (I can't find anything about guinea pigs' larger South American relative, the capybara-- which is the largest rodent in the world. I wonder if they can make vitamin C?)

So here are the ood facts I know about guinea pigs so far from vet school and the clinic:

• Guinea pigs are not able to make vitamin C and so must have it supplemented in their diet.
• Guinea pigs' bronchoesophageal artery often branches off the right subclavian artery whereas in dogs and other domestic species the bronchoesophageal artery branches off the right fifth intercostal artery (yes, that was in my block I notes on embryology)
• You should not use Clavamox or other cephalosporins in guinea pigs because it will affect their gut flora (I'll never forget an exotics vet that I did an internship with back in tech school ranting about a general practice vet prescribing Clavamox for one of her cavy patients)