Valentine's Day And The Joy Of Being Single

I've heard a lot of grumbling from my few single classmates about the loneliness of being single on Valentine's Day. As for me, well, I think romance is overrated. I guess you could call me jaded from the bad relationships I had in my 20s. But the truth is that I genuinely like being single the majority of the time.

I like the freedom of being able to do whatever I want whenever I want without having to consult someone else. No compromises. I like having time to write and walk alone. I like not having to try to meet someone else's needs. I like having deeper friendships because I have more time for friendships. I like not trying to date or meet people for the purpose of dating but rather just enjoying time with those who share things in common with me without worrying about whether someone "likes" me.

I like feeling complete on my own. I'm not looking for someone to make me happy or be my "other half." I don't need a partner to feel whole or happy.

Here's a quotation from a piece I read recently by Elaine Leeder called 'Reflections of a Midlife Lesbian Feminist Therapist' that really resonates with me (italics mine):

I danced and soared for having something in my heart besides the pain. I danced and wept for coming out of my crisis of the spirit and for doing it by myself, rather than through the love of another, which I know can be removed at any time.

This isn't to say that I don't know lots of people in good relationships-- in fact, all of my friends are in relationships, most married. I'm happy for them and it is nice to see examples of solid relationships, I'm just not sure it is for me. Certainly it is easier for me to be single in vet school given all the demands school makes on my time, and well, whatever happens after I graduate I'll just have to see...